“If you’re male . . . your father is your model for God. And if you never know your father, if your father bails out or dies or is never at home, what do you believe about God?” --Tyler Durden, Fight Club.


Part One: Gold

The scent of saltwater drifted through the air, and deep, booming voices tossed around sailing words in casual conversation. It was Olivine City, and Gold was loving every second of it.

He could barely contain his excitement as he walked into the city, taking in the Gym straight ahead and watching as sailors walked around the port, carrying suitcases or crates of shipping equipment. Gold wasn’t really seeing them, though, as he scanned the crowd; he was looking out for someone else entirely, fighting the urge to break into a run.

Despite the fact that he wasn’t running, though, he still wasn’t paying attention, and this caused him to bump into someone who roughly shoved him away the moment they made contact. Gold barely managed to keep his balance as he stumbled back, turning to see that he’d walked straight into Silver.

“Watch where you’re going,” Silver snapped, gray eyes narrowed. Gold’s good mood still wasn’t soured completely, but he couldn’t help the fact that his golden-brown eyes narrowed in response to Silver’s glare.

“It was an accident,” he retorted, glancing up at the building that Silver had just exited from. Looking back at his rival, he asked, “What were you doing in the Gym? I thought you weren’t taking the League Challenge.”

“. . . Hmph.” Silver folded his arms, looking away so that his red fringe covered his eyes from Gold’s view. “Don’t think that you know anything about me. I do what I want, when I want. But I can’t get this Gym’s badge right now anyway. The leader, Jasmine, is gone. Apparently helping a sick Pokèmon, or something to that effect.”

“A sick Pokèmon? Can’t she just give it a berry or something?” Gold’s question received a sarcastic expression from Silver, whose tone was just as caustic when he replied.

“How should I know? Do I look like Nurse Joy to you?” Before Gold could reply, Silver continued. “Anyway, Jasmine is at the lighthouse. I don’t have time to go there myself. If you want to go, knock yourself out. Who knows? Maybe training there will make you less weak.”

Gold rolled his eyes, folding his own arms across his chest. He was more than used to this behavior from Silver, but that didn’t mean that he was about to sit down and take it. “What, me? Weak? Yeah right! I’m the greatest trainer Johto has ever seen, and I’ll prove it when I take on the Pokèmon League and win. You’re not one to talk, though, Mr. Thief; it’s not like I lost when we battled, and I’ve heard from Crys that she’s whooped you many a time.”

Silver’s eyes darkened to the point where they resembled storm clouds rather than mist, and he clenched his fists as he glared at Gold. When he finally responded, his voice was low and lethal. “Your victory was a fluke. You don’t have the skill to battle your way out of a paper bag. The greatest trainer Johto has ever seen? Hah! Whoever knew an idiot like you could have a sense of humor?” As he spoke, he began to walk past Gold, heading for the exit to Olivine. Ordinarily, Gold would have stopped him, and would have demanded a battle - to prove that his skills were as sharp as they ever were. But he had someone that he had to find, and he didn’t want to waste any more time with Silver than he already had.

So he let his rival leave, and gave into his impulse to run into Olivine City, pulling out his PokèGear and flipping open the phone as he did so. After just a few rings, the receptionist at the Silph Company branch at Olivine answered, Gold talking over her greeting.

“Hi! Could you please connect me to the office of one of your employees?”

“May I get the name of the employee you are trying to reach?”

“Sure! His name’s Copper.”

“Copper? . . . I’m sorry, sir. He isn’t in today.”

“Oh.” Gold’s enthusiasm fell, but only slightly, and he quickly picked it up again. “Well, can you get me his home address? I’m his son, Gold, and I’m trying to surprise him since I’m in town.”

As soon as Gold had the address, he snapped his phone shut and bolted in what he hoped was the right direction. Excitement and adrenaline fueled his movements, pumping through his body at such a high speed that he felt as if he could beat a Rapidash in a sprinting race. A few times he bumped into people, and earned shouts of surprise and anger, but he ignored them as he traversed Olivine’s streets, rounding corners and only stopping to ask various citygoers if he was going in the right direction. The address the receptionist had given him was closer to the shoreline, and by the time he reached the proper house, the scent of seawater was so strong that it was almost overwhelming. But it wasn’t the smell of the ocean that caused Gold to slow, confusion overtaking his features; it was the house that sat at the address the receptionist had given him.

It wasn’t small by any means, despite the fact that his father only lived in Olivine during his business trips. It was clear from the outside appearance that it was a split-level home, with a balcony extending from double glass doors on the second floor, and a large beech tree complete with a tire swing in front of it. A well-cared for garden rested beneath the front windows, despite the fact that Gold couldn’t remember his father ever having a green thumb, and as he neared the front door, he thought he could hear children playing inside.

Maybe the receptionist gave me the wrong address, Gold thought, stepping up onto the porch and raising his fist to rap his knuckles on the door. Or maybe I’m at the wrong house.

“I’ll get it!” a tiny voice called from inside, followed by squeals of high-pitched laughter and running feet. True to the words spoken, the door was pulled open by a young girl, a slightly older boy looking over her shoulder at Gold. “Hi! Are you here to see us?”

“Uh, no.” In spite of his confusion, Gold cracked a grin, laughing a little at the oddity of the situation. “Actually, I’m looking for someone, but I’m probably at the wrong house.”

“You’re looking for someone? Who, who?” The little girl asked excitedly, but her words only earned her a sharp rap on the head from her older brother.

“Stupid, he’s not looking for you,” the older boy sneered, and then turned over his shoulder. “Mom! Dad! There’s some guy at the door!”

“You really don’t have to get your parents,” Gold said quickly, torn between getting away from the house and comforting the little girl, who looked like she was about to cry due to her brother’s smack. “I’m probably at the wrong pla - ”

“Mommy!” the little girl wailed, turning and taking off down the hallway. “Mommy, Brass hit me!”

“Ugh, you’re such a crybaby, Bronze!” The boy - Brass, presumably - took off running after his sister just as a man rounded the corner. Gold opened his mouth to apologize to the man, whom he could only assume was the father of the two children - but his voice died in his throat as their eyes met. The man froze, just a few steps from the doorway, his golden-brown eyes widening as he took in the sight of Gold. Gold closed his mouth, swallowed, and then finally managed to find his voice.

“Dad?” When he didn’t receive a response save for more shocked staring, he went on to ask, “What are you doing here? Who are those kids?”

“Gold.” It wasn’t a question, confirming Gold’s frozen brain’s train of thought that the man the kids had summoned really was his father. “What are you doing here?”

“That’s what I just asked you.” Gold’s tone came out more belligerent than he’d intended, but he didn’t bother to correct himself. “The receptionist at Silph gave me this address. I came to Olivine on my journey, but I called Mom and she said you were still here on business, so I figured I’d drop by and visit. But you haven’t answered my question. What are you doing here, and who are those kids?”

Copper didn’t answer his son’s question at first. Instead, he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, holding that position for several seconds before he finally opened his eyes and walked forward, ushering Gold back and stepping out on the porch with his son. Closing the door, he turned to face Gold, his expression troubled, his eyes dark.

“Dad?” Gold couldn’t control the almost pleading tone of his voice. There was an answer plain in front of his face, but he pushed it away, rejecting it before he even fully realized it. “Who are they?”

“. . . They’re your siblings, Gold,” Copper answered finally, his tone grave. “Your half-siblings, at any rate. And I’m here because I live here.”

“My . . . half-siblings?” Gold shook his head, looking back at the house again, though thick curtains blocked him from being able to see anything through the windows. Copper nodded, not responding verbally. “But that’s . . . how . . .”

“. . . I didn’t want you to find out like this.” Copper turned away from Gold, walking toward the edge of the porch so that he could put his hands on the railing, looking out. Gold could hear the sounds of waves and Pokèmon cries in the distance. “In fact, I didn’t want you to find out at all. This is my fault, of course. I should’ve been more careful. Should have called in more, gotten an idea of when you’d be in Olivine . . .” Copper laughed, shortly and harshly, running a hand through his sandy hair. “Guess the secret’s out now.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I have a family here, Gold.” Copper turned halfway to regard his son, who was still standing still in numb shock. “I have a wife and a son and a daughter. Every six months, when I claim to come to Olivine City on business, I’m only telling a partial truth. I come here to spend six months with my other family.” Copper’s words were harsh, and hit Gold like a punch in the gut. “Of course, they don’t know anything. I tell them that I’m leaving to go to New Bark Town on business with Professor Elm’s laboratory. It’s always been a delicate balance that I’ve had to keep, but it always worked. Until now. Until I got careless and comfortable and . . . And . . .” He trailed off, seeming to notice something in Gold’s expression, and his anger fell away like dust in the wind. “Gold, I’m sorry.”

Silence fell between them for a few moments before Gold finally managed to find his voice, to speak despite the fact that his throat felt constricted and his heart was pounding frantically in his ears. “You . . . have a second family here,” he said, and his voice sounded hollow to his own ears. “A wife and . . . a daughter and . . . a son . . .”

“Yes,” Copper answered, but Gold didn’t hear him.

“You’ve been lying to us. To Mom and to me. And to them, too. You’ve been playing all of us, keeping up this charade, living the good life with two families and keeping everyone in the dark. Getting everything you want while cheating everyone else involved.” As he spoke, his voice was gaining strength, the hollow, constricted feeling slowly replaced by burning fire that was gaining momentum as it headed toward an explosion. “Never putting your heart fully in one place or the other. Probably always thinking about one family while you’re with the other. Never caring about anything more than your own selfish desires.”

“That’s not true, I did care - ”

“Liar!” Gold’s voice was loud and just as harsh as Copper’s hand been before, and his eyes were burning as he glared at his father. “That’s all you’ve ever been, isn’t it? Just a liar and a fake! You never cared about us! You were just home to placate us before you had to leave for “business” again! A double-agent doesn’t care about those he’s betraying! If he did, he wouldn’t betray them in the first place!”

“I’m not a double-agent, Gold,” Copper argued, tone authoritative. “And you shouldn’t talk to me like - ”

“Then what do you call all of this, huh?” Gold gestured wildly to the house and the front lawn. “A house, two kids - even a freakin’ tire swing! And then you have our house back in New Bark Town. And what do you know - I have a tire swing in the back yard that Crys and I used to swing on while you pushed us on it! Mom still wears her wedding ring, you know - she never takes it off, either. Do you think she would if she knew about all of this? I think she would. I think she will.”

“Gold, don’t tell her - ”

“Why not? You don’t love her. Probably never did. And you don’t love me, either. If you loved us, you wouldn’t have gotten another wife and another son to replace us!”

“They aren’t replacements!” Copper had to yell to get Gold to finally stop interrupting, and he ran a hand through his hair again. “For Celebi’s sake, Gold, you don’t have the full story. There were a lot of circumstances - twists of fate - originally, Olivine was just business, but then - ”

“But then what? Then you just decided that we weren’t good enough and that you wanted another family?” Gold scoffed, shaking his head. “Some hero you turned out to be.”

“I never claimed to be a hero,” Copper replied, voice low. Gold continued to glare, but just as he could never control his emotions - whether felt or expressed - he couldn’t control the hurt that mingled with the rage in his eyes.

“You were my father. You didn’t have to claim to be anything.”

Copper opened his mouth to reply - though Gold wasn’t sure he wanted to hear anything Copper had to say at that point - but the door opened, revealing a woman Gold was sure was his father’s other wife. Gold supposed she was pretty; she had blonde hair that was tied back in a bun and blue eyes. But when he looked at her, he really couldn’t feel any pleasure at her appearance; all he felt was a surge of resentment and dislike that he was sure she didn’t deserve.

“What’s going on out here?” she asked, her voice and eyes concerned. “I heard shouting, but I couldn’t make out what it was about . . .”

Copper’s eyes flashed to Gold for a second before he looked back to his wife, his voice placating. “Nothing’s going on,” he answered. “I’ll be inside in a little bit.”

“A - All right.” She looked at them both with uncertainty before she went back inside, the door shutting slowly behind her. Copper looked back to Gold, his expression grateful, yet hesitant.

“Thank you for not saying anything.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” Gold’s voice was rough, and came out through almost grit teeth. “Get your Pokèmon. We’re going to battle. If you win, I’ll leave, and you’ll never see me again. I’ll make sure to stay away from home when - or if - you’re there. But if I win, then I have permission to tell everyone. Mom as well as these people.”

“Gold - ”

“Get your Pokèmon,” Gold repeated, turning and walking into the front lawn, “and meet me out here in five minutes.”

Gold didn’t look back at the house even as he heard Copper go inside. He didn’t know what he would do if Copper didn’t come out again - if he’d just leave and try to forget all that happened, if he’d just sit in the front yard and wait all night, or if he’d march back up to the house shouting his father’s secret for all to hear. As he waited he paced, negative energy burning through him so heatedly that he was surprised it didn’t burn through his skin. His fingers were constantly tapping against his Pokèballs, counting his Pokèmon over and over again, debating which one to use. His Umbreon, a perfect representation of the dark feelings he harbored toward his father? His Noctowl, a symbol of truth and wisdom? Or his Bayleef, his starter, the symbol of his pride that he was going to become a Pokèmon trainer - a hero, just like his father?

Gold’s jaw set so rigidly that it hurt.

Copper did come outside within the time limit, and Gold wasn’t sure whether to be happy about that or disappointed. His heart was pounding adrenaline through his body faster than a Rapidash, even as he saw that his father was carrying only one Pokèball.

“This will be a one-on-one battle,” Copper said, and as Gold opened his mouth, Copper continued. “Even if you’re angry at me, I’m still your father, Gold. I can still set the rules.”

Gold closed his mouth briefly, glaring fiercely as he blinding grabbed one of his Pokèballs off his belt. Glancing down at it, he saw that it belonged to his Bayleef. “Fine,” he snapped. “One-on-one. I’ll defeat you either way. Bayl, come forth!”

Gold threw the Pokèball so hard that he wouldn’t have been surprised if it had broken, despite the soft impact that the grass gave it. Bayl came forth with her usual cheerfulness, though confusion overtook her features as she saw that they were standing on someone’s picturesque front lawn instead of a route or battling arena. Despite the circumstances, Gold saw something flash through Copper’s eyes that he wasn’t expecting - something that looked akin to the pride that Gold had first wanted to see upon setting foot in Olivine City.

“A Bayleef. That’s a rare Pokèmon, and it looks healthy. Chikorita was a good choice for a starter as - ”

“Send out your Pokèmon!” Gold interrupted, not bothering to keep his voice down. One of his fists was clenched, and the other was strangling Bayl’s Pokèball. His Pokèmon looked back at him with concern, but Gold shook his head minutely and Bayl returned her attention to the battle at hand. Confused or not, Bayl knew that it was time to battle, and she wouldn’t remove her attention from the situation at hand if she could help it. Copper sighed, and flicked his wrist to send the Pokèball spiraling to the ground. A Pinsir appeared in a flash of light, and Gold grinned viciously.

“A bug? That’ll be no match for Bayl. Bayl, let’s start this off! Razor Leaf!”

“Don’t stand for that, Pinsir,” Copper called, though his voice sounded tired, unenthusiastic. “Dodge and try to use Bind.”

Bayl swung her head, unleashing a flurry of razor-edged leaves toward the Pinsir, who attempted to dodge out of the way. Despite its attempts, several leaves nicked its body, and it winced as it charged toward Bayl.

“Bayl, take advantage of the proximity! Poison Powder and then Razor Leaf!”

“Pinsir, Vicegrip!”

As Bayl shook poisoned spores over Pinsir, the Pinsir dove forward, latching the horns on top of its head around Bayl’s leg. Bayl cried out in pain, especially as the Pinsir tightened its grip, but nonetheless used Razor Leaf once more. This time, the Pinsir was not able to dodge, and it broke its Vicegrip to stumble back, crying out in pain.

“All right, that’s - ” Copper began, but Gold interrupted.

“You’ve almost got it, Bayl! Charge forward with a Body Slam!”

“Gold!” Copper yelled, but Gold didn’t listen. Bayl did as he commanded, charging full force and ramming into the Pinsir, knocking it clear across the lawn and onto the concrete just on the edge of the grass. “That’s enough!”

“I don’t think so!” Gold shouted back, and pointed wildly at the Pinsir. It was all he could see; it was as if something dark was clouding the rest of his vision, highlighting the Pinsir, his target. He couldn’t attack it personally, no, but Bayl would do that for him. She could act as his weapon, and he could defeat that Pinsir, that Pinsir who was his father’s Pokèmon, who was his father’s proxy for this battle-- “Bayl, Razor Leaf and Body Slam! And then stomp if it you have to; I know you don’t know that attack, but do your best!”

The Pinsir couldn’t get out of the way in time. The poison from the Poison Powder, combined with the Razor Leaf and Body Slam of before, rendered it too injured to be able to get out of the way in time. The Razor Leaf attack struck home, and so did the second Body Slam, knocking it further away from the yard. Gold and Copper followed, Gold’s fists clenched, his mouth already open to call another order. Bayl was hesitating, after all, when Gold had given her a direct command before. Didn’t she listen? “Bayl, stomp it! Stomp it into the ground - or Body Slam - or even just tackle it! Don’t just stand there, do some - ”

“I said that’s enough!” Copper grabbed his son from behind, wrapping him in a bear hug tight enough to pin Gold’s arms to his sides. Gold struggled viciously, kicking against Copper, but his father refused to let go. Due to the confusion of what she was supposed to be doing, Bayl didn’t attack; in fact, as she looked back at Gold, Gold could see more than just confusion at what she was supposed to be doing in her eyes. He could see confusion at the entire situation, as well as the true condition of the Pinsir who’d been doing nothing more than battling for his father. The Pinsir was innocent, and yet Gold . . .

Gold stopped struggling, and after a few moments, Copper released him, allowing Gold to fall to his knees. What was he doing? Bayl wasn’t a weapon, and the Pinsir wasn’t a proxy. But he’d ordered Bayl so cruelly . . . He was going to have her kill that Pinsir, and all because . . . all because . . .

“Bayl,” he said in a choked voice, fighting to swallow down the lump in his throat, “return.” He held up her Pokèball, the red light encasing her and summoning her inside. Gold brought the Pokèball up, whispered an apology, and then struggled to put it back onto his belt. He missed several times.

“Gold - ” Copper tried, but at that moment his door opened again, and Gold heard his father’s other wife call out to him once more.

“Copper, what is going on? We could hear shouting, and the children said they saw you battling . . . ? Oh! Is that Pinsir? What happened to it?”

“I lost a battle, that’s all.” Copper returned the Pinsir, and Gold could hear apprehension in Copper’s voice. “Pinsir can’t handle himself very well against grass types. You know that.”

“Yes . . . Who is that boy? Would he - oh!”

“Gold!”

Gold wasn’t sure what made him do it, but he suddenly got to his feet and bolted, not once looking back over his shoulder, even as his father called out to him. Gold didn’t know where he was going; he’d never been to Olivine City before, and the streets were as alien to him as they were when he’d first arrived. Ducking around corners, running down each street, Gold ran until his chest absolutely burned and his legs were shaking so bad he was sure they would melt into a puddle. When he collapsed for a second time, he did so against the wall of a diner, his arms folded around his knees and his wet eyes resting against them.

It was funny, Gold thought bitterly, how everything could change so quickly in such a short time. It was similar to thoughts he’d had just a few weeks ago, when talking to his mother on the phone. She’d commented on how he was growing up so fast, about how it hadn’t been all that long ago when he’d first left, and already he had four badges. Gold himself had noticed such changes in Bayl from when he’d first received her as a Chikorita from Professor Oak, and he knew that she had to be close to evolving again any day now. There was so much around him that was changing, so much about him that was changing, and until that afternoon, Gold had thought it a good thing.

But in less than an hour, everything had fallen apart. His father was a no-good low-life who had one family back in New Bark Town, but kept another family in Olivine City. Copper was deceiving everyone, cared about no one but himself, and was completely and utterly selfish. But at the same time, was Gold much better? He’d ordered Bayl cruelly, forced her to keep attacking despite the condition of the Pinsir, had even tried to get her to use attacks she didn’t know just for brutality’s sake. He’d let his anger twist his actions, making him no better than Copper, no matter than Silver . . . no better than even Team Rocket. Sure, he’d called Bayl off, but only after his father had restrained him. Only after he was physically stopped. And now? Now Gold felt empty and raw, like he didn’t even know himself anymore, much less what he was capable of. And worse still was that Gold didn’t know what to do about that except remain there, curled up against the diner’s outer wall, falling apart and breaking down with shaking, gasping sobs.